A Medley Of Thoughts

There are too many things I need to write about today! So many things happened that I wanted to write about or had to do with what I wrote about yesterday, so here it goes...

I have my first track meet tomorrow. I'm really nervous! I'm less nervous now after thinking about it for a while but I still can't believe it's tomorrow! So this morning on the bus I listened to some music to keep my mind off of it. The first song that came on shuffle was "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz. Isn't it funny how the subtitle encompassed it all? I love how music has its way of doing that.

So shine the light on all of your friends. When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

So if you have something pretty minor coming up like a track meet (they don't change anything huge in my life!) but you're still nervous, don't worry because in the big scheme of this world it really won't matter much.

Something happened today that I really wanted to vent about so much! It reminded me of my whole honesty post and how this blog is supposed to help me, not suppress my feelings! I think the world was giving me a test to see if I'd write about it or not, well thanks world for screwing up my night! It was like something so cheesy out of a movie. Ugh, if only I could tell you in full detail. I really am afraid though... why can't I be open about certain things?! Please show me someone who honestly doesn't give a crap about anything people have to say! I need them. I want to vent about it so badly.

I'll try.

It'll sound weird but I'll try, for my own sake.

I was talking to someone today and in the most slow and hushed tone they said "So... I was thinking..."

Turns out, after minutes of avoiding the subject and beating around the bush, they just wanted to bring up someone they used to like.

WHAT?! Gosh, if only I could tell you how the whole conversation went, seriously! You got my hopes up and created all this damn suspense over some girl you liked! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Don't you hate when people do that?? Don't you?! Honestly the person said "No, never mind." No! Don't never mind me, you say you wanted to tell me something: so spill! But then when it turns out to be a total, complete and utter letout it makes it even worse! Hey buddy, normally when people beat around the bush it means they have to share something secretive, important or heartfelt. I know you had the hots for her and if you had common sense you would remember I was sorta against the whole thing!

Anyways, now that I somewhat got that off my chest and feel really silly and odd but happy...

When I got home in a bad mood after this conversation I saw that my mom had hung up the Christmas stockings and I really stood there, smiled, and said "Thank you" to these velvet oversized boots because they welcomed me and as freaky as this sounds, made me feel a whole lot better.

Song stuck in my head today: "Stuck On You" by Sugarland

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Honesty.

I've always been pretty good with being an open book. There's only a few people I have trouble being open with. Besides that, ask me anything and most likely I'll answer honestly. When I started writing this blog I thought it'd be easy for me to convey my raw, honest, stupid, weird thoughts just for me to vent. I know people are reading this, I have followers, people vote on polls, leave comments, talk to me about it in life etc. I don't even know if it's the fact that there's someone (YOU!) out there reading this, but lately I've really wanted to get myself to write about things, things I feel SO strongly and I resort to making them small encrypted paragraphs even I don't understand sometimes. Why is that? Why do we have such a problem with people judging us? I'm really confident on so many levels, but there's just certain things that shut me up. I'll be chatting someone's ear off and the minute they ask me about something I'll just say "Oh, I don't know". WHY?! Well, there's reasons why but then I'd have to get into the gritty detail of the actual subject. No thanks, I'll close my book right now.

Pst. To be honest I think you're gorgeous and it kills me every time I don't tell you.

Song stuck in my head today: reeaddd more!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison