Back to Basics: A Flower List Update

How often do you regret things, or wish you could turn back time?

20% said ALL the time. Who doesn't?

0% said Here and there, I don't think about it much.

40% said I try not to think about it. What's done is done!

40% said It keeps me up at night, I'll admit it.

and...

0% said Never. I've done nothing I regret.

‎"and there we were. together, but not together. not knowing what the hell we were doing."

It hurts to keep things bottled up inside. There are too many moments that I have the chance to really let something out, and it always just gets lost in the layers of emotions and I can't get it out. So, wheter something happened a few minutes ago or a few years, most psychs or whatever say that you should LET IT OUT. Even if it's something you might view as minuscule, if you keep thinking about it, tell that person! But...

on the other hand. Should we let "bygones be bygones"? The other day I apologized to a friend for doing something mean I haven't realized I've been doing to him for a while now until someone did the same thing to me! He was really sweet about it and appreciated the gesture but didn't see why it bothered me so much. So we started talking about what I did wrong, and then talking about it made me do the thing I was trying to stop doing. Ugh it was bad.

But it felt good! At least we both addressed what was going on. So, I may not have changed my ways entirely but at least let him know I realized what I was doing and I'm trying to think more about his feelings when I say stuff. That's why I think it's good to talk about things. But...

What if something happened let's say 2/3 years ago and you're always thinking about it. But you know that if you brought it up to the person you shared this confusing moment with, it could break or make your friendship. They might think that you're either really brave or completely insane. What would you do? Because as you sit here, waiting for the pieces to fall back into place the way you want them to. You know there's a chance that may never happen. And if it doesn't you at least deserve the truth.

Song stuck in my head today: "Rhythm Of Love" by Plain White T's

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Fashion.

How many of you love fashion? You can't walk out the door with your "face on" and an ensemble that is at least a 9 out of 10? I feel like my school is a fashion show. Sometimes I feel like I need this intricate showy outfit just to go to school. Honestly, I'm a jeans and a t shirt time of girl. Throw in my boots or converse and a couple bracelets, I'm good to go. That doesn't mean I'm not girly or anything, I live for sundresses and flowy shirts once it hits 65 and sunny.

But honestly, I don't care.

Yes, dressing yourself well shows that you have a sense of self-respect. But then dressing yourself with too much effort, I think that means you need those clothes to feel good about yourself.

For a couple days I'll become obsessed with fashion but then it always goes away. It so much to follow up on! It's like celebrities. Always a new trend, do this not that, no wait being different is cool, now it's not, those are ugly, these are hot... As long as your nice to me I don't think about what you're wearing too much.

Often I'll waste a lot of time in the morning fussing over an outfit, that turns out in the end to not even be me. I'll over think things way too much. I think outfits that are you should be effortless, and outfit that takes you days to plan, just doesn't seem like you! But one you wake up and throw on and are happy with sounds good to me. Because being you should be effortless.

Song stuck in my head today: "Candlelight" by The Maccabeats

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Glee Review #18: "Special Education" (Episode 9, Season 2)

Oh my, how many times in my life will Glee make me cry?!

*SPOILER ALERT* Make sure you've watched the episode!

"Don't Cry For Me Argentina" was amazing. A great song to start off the show with! "Hey Sould Sister" was so great also, but seeing Kurt keep all his talent to himself in the background was so upsetting to watch. "The Time of My Life" was super cute, and brought us all back to the Rachel Finn moment that they had last time they performed a duet. Really showed us how far we've come! "Valerie" was perfect! I love Santana's songs. "Dog Days Are Over" = OHMIGOD. Perfect. Way to wrap up an episode! I love Mercedes and Tina together.



Wow, all the drama in this episode! First off, we were right. Finn and Rachel are over for now. In a rollercoaster of emotions and songs the constant on and off couple who seemed stabel for a while now are done. Is it really final though? If I had to sum up this epsiode it'd be lost. Everyone was. Kurt was lost in his new school, Will was lost because (What the hell?!) Emma got... married?! I think Emma was a little lost there too... Rachel and Finn were lost dealing with their relationship troubles, and the whole team was falling apart! It was so upsetting. But hopefully with some Christmas spirit next week the glee club will get their act together again, they have no choice!



My questions for you...
1.) Will there be new characters soon?
It seems like no one can stay single for long on this show, and with Finn and Rachel's breakup will they introduce new love interests or actually give the show a dose of reality and keep them alone for a bit? I think Mercedes deserves a boyfriend next if anyone!
2.) What?! A new recruit?!
With Kurt's absence Puck was asked to find a new glee club member. Their latest recruit, well I just want to punch her in the face! Hopefully they'll find a better substitute because no one joins the glee club and helps them at sectionals to say it's stupid and sucks! Find someone better, please.
3.) Is this whole Emma thing serious?
Our once germaphobic reserved little Emma is now running off to Vegas with some dentist and getting hitched?! Something seems fishy...

The Warblers performing "Hey Soul Sister"

Your quotes...
"Those things are hard to come by scalpers get like five bucks for these!" - Will
"I know I'm more talented than all of you. Britney Spears taught me that." - Brittany
"I'm not big on reading." - Puck
"Budda, Allah, Satan, help me!" - Puck
“Let me guess: Finn and Rachel are gonna do a ballad, right? Followed by the kids joining in with a classic rock number where Mercedes will belt out the last jaw-dropping note.” - Emma
“You used to be just sort of unlikeable, but now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth.” - Quinn
“I know that I can’t. Just like I know the cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry.”- Brittany
“More like its am-bad-ass-ador.” - Puck
"If we lose we should throw possums.”- Brittany
“Is the problem your outfit? Because you look like a cheerleader zombie corpse.” - Artie
“You are as brilliant and talented as you are irritating.” -Kurt


I really can't wait to see what Glee does with Christmas! The songs they'll be singing are...
"We Need a Little Christmas" (love this one!)
"Baby, It's Cold Outside"
"Merry Christmas Darling"
"Welcome Christmas"


Song stuck in my head today: ...


Keep on keepin' on,


Madison

A Medley Of Thoughts

There are too many things I need to write about today! So many things happened that I wanted to write about or had to do with what I wrote about yesterday, so here it goes...

I have my first track meet tomorrow. I'm really nervous! I'm less nervous now after thinking about it for a while but I still can't believe it's tomorrow! So this morning on the bus I listened to some music to keep my mind off of it. The first song that came on shuffle was "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz. Isn't it funny how the subtitle encompassed it all? I love how music has its way of doing that.

So shine the light on all of your friends. When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

So if you have something pretty minor coming up like a track meet (they don't change anything huge in my life!) but you're still nervous, don't worry because in the big scheme of this world it really won't matter much.

Something happened today that I really wanted to vent about so much! It reminded me of my whole honesty post and how this blog is supposed to help me, not suppress my feelings! I think the world was giving me a test to see if I'd write about it or not, well thanks world for screwing up my night! It was like something so cheesy out of a movie. Ugh, if only I could tell you in full detail. I really am afraid though... why can't I be open about certain things?! Please show me someone who honestly doesn't give a crap about anything people have to say! I need them. I want to vent about it so badly.

I'll try.

It'll sound weird but I'll try, for my own sake.

I was talking to someone today and in the most slow and hushed tone they said "So... I was thinking..."

Turns out, after minutes of avoiding the subject and beating around the bush, they just wanted to bring up someone they used to like.

WHAT?! Gosh, if only I could tell you how the whole conversation went, seriously! You got my hopes up and created all this damn suspense over some girl you liked! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Don't you hate when people do that?? Don't you?! Honestly the person said "No, never mind." No! Don't never mind me, you say you wanted to tell me something: so spill! But then when it turns out to be a total, complete and utter letout it makes it even worse! Hey buddy, normally when people beat around the bush it means they have to share something secretive, important or heartfelt. I know you had the hots for her and if you had common sense you would remember I was sorta against the whole thing!

Anyways, now that I somewhat got that off my chest and feel really silly and odd but happy...

When I got home in a bad mood after this conversation I saw that my mom had hung up the Christmas stockings and I really stood there, smiled, and said "Thank you" to these velvet oversized boots because they welcomed me and as freaky as this sounds, made me feel a whole lot better.

Song stuck in my head today: "Stuck On You" by Sugarland

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Honesty.

I've always been pretty good with being an open book. There's only a few people I have trouble being open with. Besides that, ask me anything and most likely I'll answer honestly. When I started writing this blog I thought it'd be easy for me to convey my raw, honest, stupid, weird thoughts just for me to vent. I know people are reading this, I have followers, people vote on polls, leave comments, talk to me about it in life etc. I don't even know if it's the fact that there's someone (YOU!) out there reading this, but lately I've really wanted to get myself to write about things, things I feel SO strongly and I resort to making them small encrypted paragraphs even I don't understand sometimes. Why is that? Why do we have such a problem with people judging us? I'm really confident on so many levels, but there's just certain things that shut me up. I'll be chatting someone's ear off and the minute they ask me about something I'll just say "Oh, I don't know". WHY?! Well, there's reasons why but then I'd have to get into the gritty detail of the actual subject. No thanks, I'll close my book right now.

Pst. To be honest I think you're gorgeous and it kills me every time I don't tell you.

Song stuck in my head today: reeaddd more!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Just Making Sure You're Aware...

Today is World AIDS Awareness day. Don't judge anyone you know who has it.

Song stuck in my head today: read below

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

The Snow Will Come Shortly!

Can anyone believe it's December already? I sure can't! 24 DAYS 'TILL CHRISTMAS EVERYONE,

24!

That's insane. I'm really excited but then again time is just moving sooo fast. I'm having a good year though, so I'm glad because Chrismtmas time just makes everything that much better.

I don't care if you're Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist, or don't really care Christmas has to effect you. By now for most of us, Christmas has almost been stripped of it's religious meaning. It seems like only extremely devoted Christians actually sit down on Christmas Day and think Huh, Jesus was born today what a wonderful thing! To me, Christmas is giving. It's hope and love and happiness. It's a time where for a moment in our life wrapping paper and caroling is the prority. Business meetings come after the buying of gifts and homework makes way for some holly. Even though we should be loving and generous year round Christmas really makes us step back and appreciate the world we live in. Sure there's always robbers murders and natural disasters but for one month all the news stations start playing "Deck The Halls" and everything's alright. Christmas gives you that hope you need. While everything may be going wrong, you can always fall back on Christmas no matter if you have a cross around your neck or not. Who can resist marveling at a lit Christmas tree or joining in to "Jingle Bells" for a chorus? Christmas is meant for everyone.

Song stuck in my head today: "Grenade" by Bruno Mars

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison