Sometimes people have to be left out

In about 6 months I'm going to turn 16- scary I know.

My mom said we should decide if I'm having a party or not by the end of the summer, because if we are we need to start booking and getting prepared.

At first I was all gung-ho for this party, I thought it seemed like a great idea! I get to wear an amazing gown, I get to dance the night away with all my friends and family, eat my favorite foods, have everyone 'ooh' and 'awww' at my montage, make a playlist of music for my DJ. But then my parents informed me there's be a change of plans and a party is no longer in the future because we're going to Florida next April on a big trip with lots of relatives.

At first I was upset, I thought the party seemed like the easiest way to celebrate, you didn't have to think of anything besides a theme or what dress you were going to wear, but I realized (or rather my pointed it out to me) the reason why I was starting to love the idea of a party, when a few months ago I said I didn't care for a big bash, was because this way I didn't have to leave anyone out. I could invite everyone. Even those people that secretly I think are so fucking annoying, but I'm obliged to be friends with them. We all have those people, and I thought having a big party would be the easiest way to not have to deal with there "Why aren't I invited?! I thought we were close!", and even those awkward in-the-middle-friends. Where you're close, but you've only hung out a few times so you're unsure if you'd invite them to a small party or not.

But sometimes you have to step back, and just surround yourself with people you truly want to be with. I know you should always be kind, and I'm not saying that you have to rudely stop talking to them forever or something, but give them a hint. Let them down kindly.

Now I'm doing something smaller- but just as fun! - for my birthday. What yet, I do not know. But I'll probably go to the city with a couple friends and do something fun. I know once January rolls around I'm going to have to answer peoples nagging questions of, "Why was I not invited?". But sometime or another we all have to be the bearer of bad news.

Song stuck in my head today: "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Coldplay

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

What's your name?

"It was the first time she had ever called me by my name. Of course she did this purposefully and knew that I should treasure it up."

~ Pip, Great Expectations

(Yup, I'm the loser that quotes Great Expectations the book I have to read for english.)

Names. My thoughts on names:
1.)First off, I notice the first time someone calls me "Maddie". Sometimes it'll freak people out, the new friend I made will greet my with a big "Maddie!!" and I'll stop and go, "You just called me Maddie for the first time!". Then I just get this stare, and a laugh. I guess I realize this because it shows that someone thinks they're close to me when they call me Maddie. When people who aren't close with my call my that it's just... creepy.
2.) I hate when people write one of my many nicknames as Maddi. Or Madi. I just don't like it. There's only two people who can spell it like that, my best friend and his mom. Other than that you will be corrected. Maddie, Maddy even Maddey if you really want to be creative!
3.) Isn't it weird that we don't pick our names? It's the only thing we come with into this life, and it's basically the only thing we have for the rest of it that is truly ours. But really not, because we had no say in it. I think your name is your first test. It's your first situation where the world has given you something and you just have to make do with it. Lots of times that happens in life and you just gotta suck it up and take what this crazy ride throws at you. I don't think you should go out and change your name. It's something you were given, something to live up to, it's like the skin on your bones and it should and will always be with you wheter you like it or not.
4.) Naming a baby is such a weird experience. What if you give your baby this extremely amazing name, like Athena or something. Something big, or something different and unique and it they don't live up to it. What if you have a boy and name them Drizzle and they end up being a fat plumber or something... I don't know! Haha I mean when you hear a name before seeing a person's face you just get this image in your head and some people just do not match up to their names.
5.) My friends always make fun of my because I love 'weird' baby names. Eh, yeah it's true I guess but I think these names are gorgeous: Gemma, Brooklyn, Meadow.......
6.) We've talked about this before but, I love it when you say my name. Love it. :)

Song stuck in my head today: IDK AMERICAN IDOLS ON GOTTA JET!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

This big thick-headed jerk said an extremely idiotic comment aimed at one of my good friends today. No one else picked up on it beside me and his Crabbe and Goyle-esque cronies. I lost my chance to flip out on him, but trust me if timing was on my side some bad stuff would've went down. This guy was so stupid.

When I got in my best friend's car I just completely lashed out to him and his mom about what I heard and she really calmed me down explaining it wasn't worth my time. And it wasn't. And sometimes you just have to let certain things brush off your shoulders. Some people just aren't worth your time and attention.

When you overhear something like I did or are put in a similar situation sometimes the best thing is just to roll your eyes, picture yourself socking the person square in the face and walk away. Yeah it's best to correct this person so maybe they'll think twice about what they say/do but sometimes after your opportunity has passed it'll be worse to drag things out again.

Sometimes you just gotta...

WHIP YOUR HAIR.

Song stuck in my head today: "Run-around" by Blues Traveler

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Everone Has Their Guilty Pleasures

Coming back to my idea of not knowing yourself fully, I believe everyone has their own guilty pleasures. Things even their closest friends would be suprised they enjoy or things that you'd be shocked to know of someone that you've had pinpointed from the outside so long.

There's this guy in my Studio in Art class who've I've known since kindergarten and have always had the greatest distaste for. He's your class A neanderthal and I can't stand being near him. So the other day he started talking about the new Harry Potter movie and how he was so amped up for the midnight premiere. I had to admit I was taken aback, a lot.

You see yes, he acted all cocky thinking he knew everything about the series just buy watching the movies (which happens to be one of my greatest pet peeves), and yes he's not about to stop harassing people and being stuckup but just knowing that we had something in common, showed me a shimmer of hope. Because I know now, and have always known, that in the end we're all the same. Strip down the specific details and times of your life and realize that other people can relate to your own experiences and may enjoy the same things you do. So while I won't be joining my classmate to go see The Deathly Hollows next friday, I'll always remember that day in class whenever I see him and think, Hey this guy like Harry Potter, he can't be all bad.

Song stuck in my head today: my own composition

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

World of Jenks: "Heaven and Hell" (AND THE BURIED LIFE)

This weekend I watched "Heaven and Hell" on my T.V. (via IO free On Demand) so for those of you who have IO, watch it that way because mtv.com is currently restoring that video. :/

In this episode, Andrew uncovers the lifestyle of up and coming rapper, Maino. He learns about his past, parties it up in the present, and talks to Maino about his aspirations.

In ways, were all alike. We're all covered with stereotypes, and all have stories that just sound very similair to everyone elses. Sooner or later, all these great tales start to get mashed up and muddled. We look for something new, someone who has risen above all, faced with challenges no one has ever had to face before. So a black boy growing up in the streets of Bed Stuy and after some time in prison and being exposed to all that is the ghetto, makes a good life for himself doesn't sound to different now-a-days doesn't it. I mean how many docu-dramas and 60 Minutes specials can we have about singers, businessman, actors, or writers that made it out of the projects?

Not enough.

You might think you've seen it all after watching a little bit of MTV and prime-time news, but you haven't. You know how the story goes and don't gasp when you find out Maino has a son out of wed-lock and spent 10 years in prison for kidnapping. You know the drill: hard times followed by one mistake that leads you to jail, and then that final wake up call (throw in a murder or a pregnancy for good measure). I'm not saying that Andrew Jenks uncovered anything mind-blowing or life-changing. The stereotypical rise to fame might even stay in your head after watching it, who knows! But while watching this episode, and hearing Maino talk about wanting to be and inspiration to others, providing hope for those who were still trying to make it out of the streets, (after rolling my eyes a bit): I got it. I realized that yes, we humans share a lot of stories, and maybe we're all just the same and that's that. But there's still so many people trying to stand up on their own two feet, so many people who need that inspiration no matter if they're living in Brooklyn, Compton, or some little farm town that's making them feel trapped in Ohio! The stories we hear and see are only a small percentage of those who have been able to give themselves and their families, a better life. They're only just a few people who have been able to pursue their dreams despite all the staggering odds that were against them. The words they give to others aren't cheesey, but heartfelt. And those others need them.

In other thoughts.... NEW World of Jenks EPISODE TONIGHT AND THE PREMIERE OF The Buried Life AFTER IT! ☺ This is an awesome TV week! I'm really excited to to see what crazy things the boys do this season, and hopefully it'll give me inspiration for my list! I'll post my review tomorrow and I hope you all check it out!

Song stuck in my head today: I have allergies.. the only thing in my head was snot!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Love is everyone's favorite topic.

Think about songs you listen to. Songs you hear on the radio, and on TV. Songs you love to dance to. What are they all about?

Love.

Wheter it's heartbreak, making up with an ex, falling head over heels or cursing out the pains that come with love, they all have a common theme; because we can all relate to love, and it comes in so many different forms and stories to share people don't even realize they're singing about the same thing over and over again! I find it amusing, but hey I'm drawn to it to. It's only natural I guess, and somehow it rarely ever tires me. I always have to stop to sing along.

If you've been with me from the start, you might recall my 'people watching' post. I talked about this girl in my orchestra class who, on a day when we had a substitute, started playing us all her original compositions. She made a new one, and she tried to play it for me, wedging herself between the piano and the white-board carrying a mountain of binders, but the stabbing sound of the dismissal bell tainted her wonderful song. I couldn't hear most of it because of the bell and the buzzing voices of students revving up for the end of the day, but I asked her what the song was about. She smiled at me and said, "What they're all about."

Love.

"All you need is love"

The Beatles

"If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand. Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man. But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again."

Jason Mraz

"Move to the city, loose all your heart, she weren’t that pretty, you ain’t too smart. Plenty of girls and boys in love, plenty of girls and boys in love."

Rumble Strips

"Feel like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes, you make me crazier, crazier."

Taylor Swift

"Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dreams."

A Fine Frenzy






"All my lovings, I will send to you."
The Beatles


Song stuck in my head today: "Hey Stephen" by Taylor Swift ;)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

HAIR (hair hair hhhair hhaiir hair!)

I have the thickest, curliest hair ever. Whatever you say, I don't care. That's the way I'll always look at my messy mane.

To really love me I guess you have to love/put up with my hair. It's part of the package. My hair gets in the way, and is constantly falling out as weird as that sounds. I'm convinced it keeps growing I mean I have like 90 pounds of hair and that never changes even with the many strands that come loose each day. Seriously, it seems to be a hot topic with people who are close to me. I have family friends who hate my hair and always tell me it's way too wild and praise me when I take out the straightener. Same things with my friends. Some love my 'bold look' and some tell me not to shower when I straighten my hair *cough cough DANI*.


I never really started liking my hair the way it is until last year. I always wore it straight or blown out pretty much. But now I can't imagine it any other way. It sounds weird that I'm making such a big deal out of it but it is to me! I love my hair and I think it sorta personifies me. I hate fake things like fake nails, eyelashes, flippers, extensions, anything really! I hate when people try to change themselves or think they're ugly. So many girls think they're ugly now and it makes me want to vomit. I've seriously given up trying to push self-confidence as much as I should. I think for most people it just has to be like an epiphany. You can't really teach someone that sometimes. I think most people think my hair is ugly. I guess that because it's different than the straightened hair everyone goes for. That's why I had to refer to it as a 'bold look' before hand because some people I know really think it's daring. I don't know why. It's what I was born with. Some girl have silky smooth straight hair and some girls are born with wild thick curls. I took what I got and embraced it! It seems simple to me.


On Tuesday, I straightened my hair. Nothing too out of the ordinary. I mean I don't do it often; maybe like once a month or so. But with the straightening I forgot the annoying burden that always comes with it. (It's not too annoying really but I can't think of any other word).


"Did you get a hair cut?!" "What did you do to your hair?!" "I love your hair!" "Your hair looks amazing!".

No to brag, but this is what I get. True stuff. I mean I get like 10 comments a day - not lying - some from people I'm not even close with. But really, it's like a slap in my face and it has become tedious. I just want to flip out for once and say, "No you idiot! I didn't get a hair cut! It's called a straightener, and I know for a fact you can't leave the house without using yours! Thanks for the vote of confidence, next time I come in with curls I'll be sure to remember how un-amazing it looks."


And you can't forget the over used, "Why don't you wear it like that all the time?!". People don't get why I just smile meekly and thank them over and over again. To me it's just telling me that you hate my hair the way it's supposed to be. They don't get that I'm serious when I say I hate it sometimes, and that I'm not another low self-esteem girl. I hate my hair straight sometimes when I decide to wear it. I can only go for a certain amount of days without craving for a quick shower to rid it of the gross heat treatment. I like my hair straight a lot too, don't get me wrong! But why can't people understand who I am? And I'll never have the pin-straight look they're looking for. I appreciate the great comments all day, but it's okay, I've gotten the point by now. It's just your turn to get that I feel like I'm being forced to conform to something every time I crush my curls through those plates. Change is good, straight is great! But I'm a curly girl. Through and through.








So what do you think? Curly or straight? Comment if you want, but to me it seems pretty crazy to think it can cause such opinions and theories and what not, here's two favorite things people have said about my hair just 'cause I had to post these:

"Relax your hair hair its over powering you body" This was posted anonymously on my Formspring, my friend Alana and I can't get over it.



"Madison, you turned around once and your hair whipped me. I swear my face was red." - Oh that ROHAN



Thanks for reading, vote in the poll, you only have two more days! I have big news: I'm seeing the fabulous TAYLOR SWIFT tomorrow night, big thanks to the awesome Brianna for this great experience!!!! I might have a review because I know a lot of people in my town are going.

Song stuck in my head today: "Pennies from Heaven" by Louie Prima

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Career of Choice: People Watcher

I have a thing for people. As weird as that sounds. I just have found it interesting the past year and a half to sit, listen and watch. Observing your surroundings and people with you can teach you so much about those individuals in particular or just humans in general.

My friend and I always joke around that we should be people watchers. We'll burst out in laughter constantly noticing little things people do. I mean come on, people are just way too interesting! There's always a different story. You might hear some repeats but they all come with a twist. Everyone has opinions, dreams and experiences they want to share but just might want to share them when they get an opportunity to; rather than just randomly start sharing their life story. I like giving people that opportunity. Maybe that's just the writer coming out in me. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I know writing what you know is the best. And I am constantly seeing things that I could put to paper, throwing in crafty metaphors and imagery.

I also think 'people watching' has turned me into the equal rights person I am. I mean, you may think you know someone but until you really study them, or give them the opportunity to really express themselves you can't judge. And, even with studying people you can get some things wrong! Trust me, it's happened.

I guess, depending on what it is. People can fascinate me very easily. Today I had an orchestra class, but my teacher wasn't there. So the substitute we had let us have a free period because he was 'handicapped musically'. Some people did homework, most talked and some people practiced their instruments for the upcoming onslaught of NYSSMA thingys. What do you call it, an appointment? A judging? Well I sat and talked for a bit, attempted to do homework but I was without a textbook and then I started hearing this great tune from the piano. This girl I'm friendly with and went to the same elementary school with, was playing the piano from the beginning of the period. She was really good and she was playing familiar songs. I don't know the titles of any, but they were classical and I bet you'd know them too. But then she started playing something else. It sounded like it'd fit great in a contemporary pop album but yet I didn't know the song. I walked over and she was singing too; something about how it would work out if 'we pulled it together' and I didn't recognize it at all! I thought, 'Wow she must've written it herself then!'. But as I heard more verses I shook my head, knowing that was too good to be true.

Turns out, she did. She wrote the lyrics and composed all the music by herself. And she had four full songs. I mean full. Everything flowed seamlessly, there were no choppy parts where you could tell she still hadn't figured the right notes out and she sounded pretty damn good.

I don't know about you, but even though I have musical talent I doubt I could do what she was doing. I mean, it took her two days to accomplish some of these songs, and some only two hours since she really concentrated! I've tried writing songs - long before I had my own piano, regardless - and I don't think I ever could've come up with what she did. I mean, I always got some good stuff down but after that I was at a lack of ideas. Everything always seemed so repetitive after that. Everyone - well everyone who was smart enough to listen it! - loved her songs. I was blown away. So, I basically started interviewing the girl! I was really intrigued and I needed some answers to the millions of questions about her thought process that were dancing in my head. She told me first she gets a simple tune going, then she adds the lyrics. After that, she trys her best to transfer the tune to the piano. She has all the songs written down and she wrote them without any help, even though she showed the songs to her piano teacher who she was expecting criticism from and her teacher loved them the way they were.

I guess I like interviewing people. But not people who are famous already. Because you hear those stories all the time. I'd be the kind of reporter just interviewing people on the street. But, I don't think there's a very big field for that. So, it's just facing another road bump in my career options. Like I haven't faced enough already!

Live with your eyes wide open

(Here's a picture of my eye world!)

As for Glee, I can't wait to watch tonight! I don't know the full line-up of songs or who sings them, but I do know of a few we'll be hearing...
"A House is Not a Home"
"Fire"
"Beautiful"
"One Less Bell to Answer/A House is Not a Home"
Remember to read tomorrow all you gleeks. Thanks for the poll votes and the one comment, (Sam!). (:

Song stuck in my head today: "A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison