Sometimes people have to be left out

In about 6 months I'm going to turn 16- scary I know.

My mom said we should decide if I'm having a party or not by the end of the summer, because if we are we need to start booking and getting prepared.

At first I was all gung-ho for this party, I thought it seemed like a great idea! I get to wear an amazing gown, I get to dance the night away with all my friends and family, eat my favorite foods, have everyone 'ooh' and 'awww' at my montage, make a playlist of music for my DJ. But then my parents informed me there's be a change of plans and a party is no longer in the future because we're going to Florida next April on a big trip with lots of relatives.

At first I was upset, I thought the party seemed like the easiest way to celebrate, you didn't have to think of anything besides a theme or what dress you were going to wear, but I realized (or rather my pointed it out to me) the reason why I was starting to love the idea of a party, when a few months ago I said I didn't care for a big bash, was because this way I didn't have to leave anyone out. I could invite everyone. Even those people that secretly I think are so fucking annoying, but I'm obliged to be friends with them. We all have those people, and I thought having a big party would be the easiest way to not have to deal with there "Why aren't I invited?! I thought we were close!", and even those awkward in-the-middle-friends. Where you're close, but you've only hung out a few times so you're unsure if you'd invite them to a small party or not.

But sometimes you have to step back, and just surround yourself with people you truly want to be with. I know you should always be kind, and I'm not saying that you have to rudely stop talking to them forever or something, but give them a hint. Let them down kindly.

Now I'm doing something smaller- but just as fun! - for my birthday. What yet, I do not know. But I'll probably go to the city with a couple friends and do something fun. I know once January rolls around I'm going to have to answer peoples nagging questions of, "Why was I not invited?". But sometime or another we all have to be the bearer of bad news.

Song stuck in my head today: "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Coldplay

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Back to Basics: A Flower List Update

Do you like where you live?

20% said GET ME OUT OF HERE.

10% said Yep, it's a nice place!

70% said Eh, it's a love hate relationship

0% said I'm never in one spot for long!

0% said It's ok (:

and...

0% said I love it!!

I have to deal with it everyday. Wheter it be browsing my Facebook newsfeed, or sitting in geometry:

"I hate this town!" "I can't wait until I leave." "When's graduation?" "Yeah, this town…definitely not my favorite place." "There's nothing to do here!" "Get me out of here!"

I'm not perfect. I hate this town too when I get into one of those crappy moods. But that's it: you can't let it get to you. I know you're wired right now with all this weird and for no good reason teenage angst and you can only see beyond the confines of your dramatic high school life, but please try to keep a hold of your emotions. I'm tired of hearing all these remarks about our town. I try to be optimistic in this life of mine. Look around you people, you live in a great place!!!! Believe it or not you're in one of the richest areas in the nation. My dad tells me allll the time, not to forget how crazy it is where we live. Go down south to Georgia or whatever you can buy a house twice the size of ours with half the price. Why maybe? It could be because we have an excellent school district, and a great location. So suck it up! I think living in an area where some of the surrounding towns were in the top ten Forbes list of most affluent areas is pretty damn good.

You still want to hear my rant against my town? Okay here it goes,

I hate the people here. I hate walking around the halls in school with this need to be perfect lingering above everyones heads. You created this aura Miss. Hunter boots, and yet you sit here day after day crying about your life. Your life draped in Tiffany jewelry and spring break trips to Europe. I have some advice for you then if you want to change. Stop pressuring yourself and everyone to be perfect, stop hooking up with guys that treat you like crap and are just thinking about your best friend while they're trying to get some with you. Stop being mean and judgemental towards people and maybe you'll get some true friends with less drama involved. Stop thinking your life revolves around Cheer, or that you're some Olympian because you can successful do a couple back hand springs or whatever. Stop posting pictures of yourself on Facebook drunk, don't talk about how your best friend lost her virginity to the same guy as you did and now she's copying you. What kind of freaking reputation do you think that's setting up for you? Stop hating this town. Because this town gives you everything wheter you realize it or not.

"We've got it good

Whether you like this town or not

I know it's small but with a big head

it's bound to get hot

In the summer

But the summer is a bummer

If you can't leave

This pathetic excuse for a town

That holds all your memories

A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams..."

- Never Shout Never "Big City Dreams"

I love my town. I look for places in my town that are quirky and cool and you can escape from the town in there. They're there. Trust me, or my Schwinn. This town has given me great opportunities. This town has given me friends and memories that will last a life time. This town will always be waiting here back for me, unchanged I know it. Because it was the same old stereotyped town my Dad grew up in. It's here when I come back every weekend from my other home out east. It will be waiting here for me when my plane from London lands in at JFK, sometime soon I hope! It will be here when I show my kids where I grew up. Maybe where I met their dad, or maybe where they'll be living. Who knows.

My father said "Son, we're lucky in this town,

It's a beautiful place to be born.

It just wraps its arms around you,

Nobody crowds you and nobody goes it alone"

"Your flag flyin' over the courthouse

Means certain things are set in stone.

Who we are, what we'll do and what we won't"

- Bruce Springsteen, "Long Walk Home"

Song stuck in my head today: two links for you inn this post already set up and ready to go! go find 'em :)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Nice to meet you!

Lately I've been thinking that I should share some more 'Madison Facts' with you. I mean, if you read all my posts you're bound to know a lot of stuff about me but what about little facts? Most of you reading this now are my friends, but some people who read my blog don't know me at all or just see it on my Facebook. And maybe this is your first time to my blog! It's always good for a refresher. So... I found this on my friends blog and decided to do it. You bold the ones that apply to you. Sorry it's so long! It was fun to do though so I hope you like getting to know me. :)

I am a morning person.

I am a perfectionist.

I am an only child.

I am Catholic.

I am currently in my PJs.

I am currently pregnant. (really wanted to bold this one for all my crazy friends!)

I am left handed.

I am married.

I am addicted to MySpace.

I’m shy around the opposite sex.

I bite my nails.

I currently regret something I have done.

I don’t like anyone.

I enjoy rock music.

I enjoy RNB and pop.

I enjoy jazz music.

I have a car.

I have a cell phone.

I have a pet.

I have at least one brother or sister.

I have been to another country.

I have been told that I’m smart.

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humour.

I have had a broken bone.

I have caller ID on my phone.

I have changed a lot over the past year.

I have had surgery.

I have killed another person.

I have had my hair cut within the last week.

I have had the cops called on me.

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.

I have kissed someone of the same gender.

I have mood swings.

I have rejected someone before.

I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I have watched Sex and the City.

I like Shakespeare.

I love to cook.

I love Michael Jackson.

I love sleeping.

I love to shop.

I miss someone right now.

I own over 100 CDs.

I own over 100 DVDs.

I own and use a library card.

I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.

I read books for pleasure in my spare time.

I sleep a lot during the day.

I think Britney Spears is pretty.

I will try ALMOST anything once.

I work at a job that I enjoy.

I would classify myself as ghetto.

I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.

I am currently wearing socks.

I am tired.

am currently waiting for someone.

I lost contact with someone.

I hate Miley Cyrus.

I think Party In The USA is catchy.

I’d date Harry Potter.

I can name all the past presidents of the United States.

I know who was president before George Bush.

I love pickles.

I need the internet to live.

I prefer vanilla over chocolate.

I watched Star Trek.

I watched all six movies of Star Wars.

I own an Xbox.

I think music is life.

I prefer bands than singers.

Music (BOLD THE ONES YOU LIKE)

Acceptance. Coldplay. Dave Matthews Band. David Bowie. Foo Fighters. Hellogoodbye. The Killers. James Blunt. Teddy Geiger. Linkin Park. Ok Go. Panic At The Disco. Peter Bjorn. The Postal Service. Timbaland. Jack Johnson. Norah Jones. Drake. The Fray. The Wreckers. Beyonce. Metallica. Massive Attack. Queen. Journey. The Cars. Supertramp. Eurythmics. Sublime. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wu-tang Clan. Fergie. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Kenny Chesney. Carrie Underwood. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Neil Young. The Beatles. Brad Paisley. Tim McGraw. Taylor Swift. P. Diddy. Jay Z. Lil’ Wayne. Lil’ Jon. Three 6 Mafia. Nelly. Young Joc. T.I. Sean Paul. 50 Cent. Eminem. Eiffel 65. Ace of Base. The Underdog Project. Dream Theater. Santana. Alicia Keys. Incubus. Victor Wooten. Ludacris. Gorillaz. Matchbox 20. Paramore. Say Anything. Adam Lambert. Taking Back Sunday. Eric Clapton. The Darkness. Weezer. The Eagles. Jimi Hendrix. Maroon 5. Billy Joel. Reel Big Fish. Anberlin. Green Day. Mae. Family Force 5. AC/DC. Electric Six. Outkast. Simple Plan. The White Stripes. Prince. Mika. Crystal Castles. Tokio Hotel. Britney Spears. Spice Girls. The Gossip. Lady GaGa. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Forever The Sickest Kids. Third Eye Blind. Metro Station. Motion City Soundtrack. The Rocket Summer. Tenacious D. Something Corporate. The Moldy Peaches. Mandy Moore. Plain White T’s. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. My Chemical Romance. Fall Out Boy. We the Kings. The Rolling Stones. Angels & Airwaves. The Beastie Boys. Black Eyed Peas. Boys Like Girls. Jonas Brothers. Demi Lovato. Selena Gomez. The Cure. Cobra Starship. Death Cab for Cutie. Deftones. Team Sleep. Filter. Honor Society. Katy Perry. Muse.

Well, there ya go! I shortened it a bit (there was a movies and TV section) but I thought it was too long, and those sections were just if you've seen it not if you actually like it.

Song stuck in my head today: "Good People" by Jack Johnson

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Hate To Break It To Ya...

How often are you honest with people? I feel like I need to sit some of my friends and have some 'heart-to-hearts' with them. For multiple reasons...


1. You know how you vow never to turn into a certain type of person? What if you do, or your friend does. It seems like at a certain point in our lives we turn into the people we say we won't. Well it's not a big deal to me I guess, it's just very annoying. I'll let you live your life, sort through some things, you're not doing anything harmful! Just getting on people's nerves with your fake 'creativeness' and back stabbing.



2. If you heard people saying something about your friend do you have to tell them? What if you knew how they'd react to it? They'd a.) brush it off, people don't really effect them b.) get concerned you thought something about them, that's why you're bringing it up. I'm stuck between telling a friend something, what they're doing really doesn't bother me but some people think it's weird so I don't want them to get hurt. I'm so confused! What would you do? Would you want to know if someone said something about you? For me it depends what they're saying I guess.


Okay, thanks for letting me express these feelings lame blog post you might say but I needed to get this out. Ugh life is so frustrating!

Shout out to Alana Epstein (click meee!) for this er, collaboration blog post? Haha! (1. is Holga BTW Alana ☺)

Song stuck in my head today: "Rollerblades" by Eliza Doolittle


Keep on keepin' on,


Madison

I'm sitting in science today and I turn to stick out my tongue to my friend sitting beside me. The girl in front of him turns around and looks at me.

I try to imagine what she's thinking in her head. I think she's probably realizing that my friend and I haven't changed in the three years. I used to be friends, we both used to be friends with this girl but things went wrong and suddenly I was the cause of her losing some good relationships because I couldn't leave my angry trap shut. I had my reasons, but I took advantage of them. So as she turns her head while I tease my friends I assume she's thinking "They're still the same silly friends I left in 6th grade", but she just asks me what the design was on my shirt. They were flowers, or something like that.

It was weird. For a moment there I felt like I could be standing in the doorway of room 308 in my size 8 Converse. The ones I was so proud of in 6th grade, the ones I didn't get a speck of dirt on for a week until I made the realization the grungier they looked the better. I saw myself, 15 year old me sitting in a classroom learning about neurons and trying to think of something better to do. Me, goofing around with my friend and reminiscing on my times with my old friend.

I wondered what 6th grade me would think of 9th grade me. What size 8 black Converse would think of size 10 Kate Spade red rain boots. I could give you a guess. She'd be wondering how awkward it was sitting next to my old friend in class, she'd be so excited I was sitting next to the boy I had the biggest crush on, and she'd be wondering what high school is like. I can answer that for her, or me rather.

Dear 12 year old Madison (oh look there you are^),

It is sort of weird sitting next to her in class. I mean there's time I want to stop between cell labeling worksheets and apologize for how things ended up, and how she's been, how we've all been. Things like that. But otherwise she's changed, she has her own friends now, she keeps to herself. She seems fine and I don't think she holds a grudge against me, us? As for the guy that's sitting next to me. Familiar I hope. Don't get too excited there chicky. I wish I could've let you - me - known before hand that disappointing outcome. Anyways, high school? I have to give you credit kid. You had the right idea after all. I don't want you to start thinking pessimistically, but you were right, the school sucks. I mean don't get me wrong! We love certain parts of it, winter track, meeting new people. But you were correct about the overall atmosphere being better 'up north'. Don't worry though, we still have time to turn things around. I need you though. I need you to open my eyes back up. To show me who I am again, because things have grown a little fuzzy and you - I - had everything really sorted out back then.

From,

You

Song stuck in my head today: "Your Song" cover by Ellie Goulding (Thanks All The Time In The World!)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

MENTIONS

So... I promised a few people some blog mentions and here's the remainder of them!

Alana Epstein If you actually read anything I post, you'll remember my post about my other friend Shilpa who I met under these really random circumstances. Well, in a way Alana's friendship with me was sort of like that. Alana and I have gone to school together since we were in kindergarten but only in 7th grade did we become close and honestly I wonder where she's been all my life! Oh, wait. She was always right there.... Isn't that so wierd? When someones always been there but you've never really talked to them and then once you do it's hard to imagine life without them? Alana and I have so much in common and we love all the same things I thought no one else knew of. I really hope Alana and I stay friends throughout high school and I love every moment we're together! By the way... her blog I was trying to share with you all is no longer on Blogger but you can read it all on Tumblr! CLICK HERE

Kara & Meghan Cramise

I don't know how you spend your summers but I spend mine at VBS and without this camp every summer I would've never met Kara and Meghan. The group of friends I share my summer with are amazing and I can't imagine spending those few months with anyone else... I miss you Kara and Meghan! I have the best times with both of you and can't wait until I get to see either of you again. You're each so great in your own ways (wow that sounds cheesy, but hey, its true) and I hope Meghan, that you're having fun teaching Kayla! Ha hope she doesn't bother you that much but she really loves being in your class. And Kara I know my summers would be a lot less funny and bright without you, hope you both are having a great year. :)

Stephanie Boegle
To cut to the chase, Steph is my cousin who is really like a sister. My life would be DRASTICALLY different without this chick and I cherish each conversation, picture, moment, and voicemail. I'm so thankful to live the life I live but I think God didn't realize how many gfts he'd already given me and threw me an extra one on accident. Stephanie is my go to girl. I tell her anything and everything and I really truly think she's the only person I have that much confidence in. Sometimes you can tell people things but it still leaves this wierd feeling in your stomach, not with Steph. Everything I tell her, no matter how deep and dark, is easy and natural. Steph is constantly and inspiration for my life, and is a person I am extremely thankful for. I love ya girlie!

Song stuck in my head today: "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

And We're Off!

Yes, I'm officialy back into daily running.

Winter track started yesterday, and so far so good. But it's extremely different this year.... :(

1.) Its harder- no duh!

2.) It's cold!

3.) I miss everyone. Either my good friends I used to run with are not doing track or are going to a different school and I'm sick of it already! I do have friends on the team, but none of them are really at my pace. They're either too slow or too fast.

I hope my season goes well.... I really don't know what to expect from it at all!

Song stuck in my head today: "Only The Good Die Young" Glee cast version

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Acess Denied

So... two things you may or may not already know about me.

1. I LOVE Harry Potter

2. It's on my Flower List to see a movie at a midnight premiere

Being that HP7 is coming out this Friday, I dreamed about seeing it late Thursday night.

Well there's two things stopping me:

1. My mother. (I'll be honest!)

2. No one to go with!

You see most of my friends aren't Harry Potter nerds like myself.

And I'm tired of going with people who have no real interest in it!

BUT

It turns out I have an AMAZING FRIEND

named Shilpa

who I just found out...

LOVES HARRY POTTER!

How great is that?

Since there's no way the both of us (we live in different towns) could get together to see the midnight even if we were allowed,

we're seeing the film sometime this weekend hopefully and I can't wait!

I met Shilpa at a track meet and ever since we've kept in touch.

I have to admit, she's like my little miracle.

I can't believe a silly track meet created so many new friendships for me

and I love talking to her and spending time with her.

Though we've only hung out once outside of track related events,

I really consider Shilpa a good friend.

She's hilarious, really nice, and just so easy to have a good time with!

And the unknown fact that she read all the Harry Potter books makes me love her that much more.

Fact: Way to my heart, love Harry Potter ;)

&STRANGERS

ARE JUST FRIENDS

YOU HAVEN'T MET YET

So, be open.

Don't think you won't be friends with someone because

they don't like things you do,

they're weird,

they live too far away,

they go to another school,

they're a guy,

they're a girl,

they're gay,

they're stupid,

they're to smart,

they're not in your 'group'.

Wheter it's the guy that's lived on your block for years

but always thought was too... crazy

or

someone you've met for the first time,

you have to choice to create a lasting relationship!

So don't be afraid to strike up a conversation.

Song stuck in my head today: check out my other post! :P

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

A Quick Update :)

So, in the end I decided to go with my friends and be Rugrats characters because seeing their outfits and thinking about it made it seem a lot more fun. I was Reptar my friend Danielle was Lil, my other friend Danielle was Tommy, my friend Amanda was Kimmy and my friend Alana was Chuckie. It turned out really cute and everyone loved the idea :) Even though we looked sorta funny people got it and thought it was really clever!

The rest of my Halloween was really good! I trick-or-treated with a group of my friends and my family and got tons of candy. Hope yours was just as great (:

Song stuck in my head today: "Spiralling" by Keane

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison