Back to Basics: A Flower List Update

Do you like where you live?

20% said GET ME OUT OF HERE.

10% said Yep, it's a nice place!

70% said Eh, it's a love hate relationship

0% said I'm never in one spot for long!

0% said It's ok (:

and...

0% said I love it!!

I have to deal with it everyday. Wheter it be browsing my Facebook newsfeed, or sitting in geometry:

"I hate this town!" "I can't wait until I leave." "When's graduation?" "Yeah, this town…definitely not my favorite place." "There's nothing to do here!" "Get me out of here!"

I'm not perfect. I hate this town too when I get into one of those crappy moods. But that's it: you can't let it get to you. I know you're wired right now with all this weird and for no good reason teenage angst and you can only see beyond the confines of your dramatic high school life, but please try to keep a hold of your emotions. I'm tired of hearing all these remarks about our town. I try to be optimistic in this life of mine. Look around you people, you live in a great place!!!! Believe it or not you're in one of the richest areas in the nation. My dad tells me allll the time, not to forget how crazy it is where we live. Go down south to Georgia or whatever you can buy a house twice the size of ours with half the price. Why maybe? It could be because we have an excellent school district, and a great location. So suck it up! I think living in an area where some of the surrounding towns were in the top ten Forbes list of most affluent areas is pretty damn good.

You still want to hear my rant against my town? Okay here it goes,

I hate the people here. I hate walking around the halls in school with this need to be perfect lingering above everyones heads. You created this aura Miss. Hunter boots, and yet you sit here day after day crying about your life. Your life draped in Tiffany jewelry and spring break trips to Europe. I have some advice for you then if you want to change. Stop pressuring yourself and everyone to be perfect, stop hooking up with guys that treat you like crap and are just thinking about your best friend while they're trying to get some with you. Stop being mean and judgemental towards people and maybe you'll get some true friends with less drama involved. Stop thinking your life revolves around Cheer, or that you're some Olympian because you can successful do a couple back hand springs or whatever. Stop posting pictures of yourself on Facebook drunk, don't talk about how your best friend lost her virginity to the same guy as you did and now she's copying you. What kind of freaking reputation do you think that's setting up for you? Stop hating this town. Because this town gives you everything wheter you realize it or not.

"We've got it good

Whether you like this town or not

I know it's small but with a big head

it's bound to get hot

In the summer

But the summer is a bummer

If you can't leave

This pathetic excuse for a town

That holds all your memories

A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams..."

- Never Shout Never "Big City Dreams"

I love my town. I look for places in my town that are quirky and cool and you can escape from the town in there. They're there. Trust me, or my Schwinn. This town has given me great opportunities. This town has given me friends and memories that will last a life time. This town will always be waiting here back for me, unchanged I know it. Because it was the same old stereotyped town my Dad grew up in. It's here when I come back every weekend from my other home out east. It will be waiting here for me when my plane from London lands in at JFK, sometime soon I hope! It will be here when I show my kids where I grew up. Maybe where I met their dad, or maybe where they'll be living. Who knows.

My father said "Son, we're lucky in this town,

It's a beautiful place to be born.

It just wraps its arms around you,

Nobody crowds you and nobody goes it alone"

"Your flag flyin' over the courthouse

Means certain things are set in stone.

Who we are, what we'll do and what we won't"

- Bruce Springsteen, "Long Walk Home"

Song stuck in my head today: two links for you inn this post already set up and ready to go! go find 'em :)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Teenager.

When you think of teenager what do you think of?

Once again, going back to my whole 'Peter Pan' state, the thought of 13 was the most daunting of all ages I had to overcome I'd say. I mean tell me you weren't anxious turning 13?! Maybe that's just me. (And if anyone out there's not yet 13, good luck my friend enjoy it!) I was so scared of turning into a typical teenager though. It was my biggest anxiety. I can't really tell you what my 'typical teenager' would be though. I bet I've broken a few rules I had set for my self when I was 12. I guess my definition of a typical teenager back then would be someone who was rude and moody and thought they were the coolest stuff around, someone would ditch people for their friends on a moments notice and had no real values or whatever.

When I was younger I always noticed that every teen lived for summer. I guess it's just a thing that happens.

Don't know if I've mentioned this before but Fall's my favorite season. Don't get me wrong there's great things about every time of the year but I've just always had this deep love for Fall. Anyways, I've never really absolutely LOVED summer until last year. I don't know why, I could come up with some complex theories knowing me, but I just did. And I'm missing it. I'll admit it. A lot.

I miss being able to roll out of bed wheter it be six in the morning or one in the afternoon and just throw on a bathing suit, flip flops and be ready for the day. I miss staying up late, I miss my feet being tickled by the green grass, I miss swimming, I miss beach hair, I miss the sun enveloping my skin and I miss the clean slate summer gives me. I miss camp, I miss Bob Marley on loop in my backyard, I miss the smell of sunscreen and the fact that I live on a diet of hotdogs, hamburgers and chips and salsa from June to August.

I miss my friends.

Being with my camp (okay, VBS whatever!) friends over the summer is great. It's awesome just coming back year after year picking up where we left off the summer before, like nothing every happened. The jokes and memories we've made growing up compare to no other 'group' I've been a part of. I miss them!! I miss being able to wake up, stroll onto the lawn and talk about who's singing "Love Your Enemies" this year, what they did wrong this year, and how we could basically run this place we know so much.

I've made so many great friends there, people I would've never met or talked to even otherwise. Yes, that means you Kasey Crean! I miss you, and I know you miss me just as much (ha ok!). I can't wait until this summer, even if it is just for a few days!! Party at your house this year? Sounds good. Hope everything's good with soccer, I was supposed to keep coming just to practice but track is too much. It's already I bet you're just beating up Erin now!

Song stuck in my head today: sorry about the lack of these lately...!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

My Solo Cup Is Filled With Iced Tea

I like to feel powerful. Powerful enough to make me feel powerless. It's a funny feeling be powerless, but not for long. I like to know when I'm powerless, and still have control. Everyone loves feeling powerless at certain points. It's a rush, it's exhilarating and it's freeing. But still, I don't like when I'm not in control. With anything. Wheter it be a school project, how I'm supposed to act, what I can say. I like being free to do what I want. I like being sure in myself, and capturing every second. I like to hold on to memories and I like to be able to keep my self away from stupid things. In my opinion, staying sober is my way of doing that.

When I was 11 or 12, my cousins, sister and I made a vow that we would never drink or smoke. We've seen the effects it has on people, and it's never really appealed to any of us. There are many reactions I get when I say this. "Ha you seriously think that?" (From most of the kids who don't know me that well, and doubt I can resist all that is alcohol. Yuck.) "Aw sweets, that's so good." (The adult that inside is totally doubting me.) "Why?" (The teen who has no clue why alcohol is bad.) "I get it, but it's not all that bad." (The somewhat rational person who wants me to realize that, indeed, not all booze is bad- in moderation.) "I'd be so proud of you if you could do that." (My parents. The only good response.) But, I promise you. I will stay sober. Watch me! People laugh at me and say "I'm not coming to no dry wedding!" (because I have this teensy obsession with wedding central), but I really don't think alcohol is for me. That's that. I'm not saying I hate people who have a wine or two or enjoy having shots or something. I don't cringe and cry everything time my parents enjoy some pinot grigio with their pasta, and I don't freak when people toast champagne or anything like that. What does make my skin crawl is when people drink to get drunk. "Yeah man! Let's go get wasted this weekend." That makes me want to puke. Now that I'm in high school, there's a hell of a lot more of that- and it's only my 3rd week! There's these two girls that are a year older than me, and every Friday all they discuss is a.) where they're getting their beer from b.) who's parents are going away or how they can sneak it out of their house c.) how fun it is going to get drunk. I knew people who drank and smoke in middle school, I'm not blind- people do it all the time sadly! But in middle school, no one was open about it. Now in the "big leagues" I bet people are gonna make fun of me for not joining it. And that's fine. The only thing I care about is how to react to other people who are going to drink. Plenty of my friends will, and they might turn into those people who spend their nights drunk and their school days hungover- I don't know for sure. It's also the whole "what's right" aspect. I don't know how I should react to when I go to parties with alcohol. I don't think it's wrong for people to do what they want, like drink underage or something, but when things start taking a turn for the worse should I even be there to possibly put myself in that position?! It's all very two-sided.

I hope teenage drinking doesn't effect the rest of my teen years. I really would love to avoid it in its entirety but I know that's inevitable. I just got to stick with my beliefs and enjoy live sober, because in my opinion what good is a good time if you're not going to remember it anyways?

"I felt like

I'd walked into

and American

teen movie,

I picked up

the red cups.

I was like,

Wow, they

really do drink

from these."

- Emma Watson On going to her first college party

I love this quote, it's so true!

Song stuck in my head today: "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison