Stuck In The Middle.

My town has a lot of people in it. So we have two high schools- one for the north, and one for the south. Simple, yes? Eh, maybe. You see, these two sides of the town for two very short years, come together to go to middle school. This gives us the amazing opportunity to meet new friends and people, but also teaches us how to go our seperate ways, which is good to learn, but hard to go through. I live in the center. Not north, nor south. Just the middle. There's a middle of everything and that's where I live! People always say "No, no, no, you're either north or south you can't be middle! There's no middle!." But there is, and I'm stuck in it. North and south are very different, there's obviously a line drawn between them since everyone's convinced I don't like in the middle. But they mesh together fine because like all humans, they're the same in many ways. But since I live in the middle, I have to be zoned for one school district, and one only. Since the middle's so tiny, I'm either in the north or south. Unfortunately (to a certain degree), I'm zoned for south.

Not that the south is horrible, it just has a bunch of annoying qualities that I won't go into detail of. But the thing is, I'm a BLOCK away from the cut off line for north school zoning, and every since I was little I wanted to go to the north's high school. My dad went there, my cousins and aunts went there, I just think it'd be so cool to be walking down the same halls they did- plus I have a lot of friends who are going there. Since I'm a block away from the north school's it's a hassle to go down south for school, why should I drive for seven minutes when I can walk there in five?! Well anyways, during my middle school years I was given a chance to go to school with my north friends and I've always dreaded leaving them this year for high school. Well, as you know, I did. And it didn't feel much different.

Until this week.

On Wednesday we had a soccer game at there school (yes, our rivals, big whoop) and I saw all my friends from middle school, and all these familair faces, and stepping on their field looking up at their school felt like one big slap in the face. I swear, I nearly cried. Actually seeing the people I'm no longer with, at their school (what I've always considered my school) made me want to crumple up my soccer jersey and play for the other team. You never realize how much you wanted something, or missed someone until you physical see them or something that reminds you of them, or hear their voice. I've thought about all my good memories with my friends in middle school, and have talked to them online, but nothing gets me more sad than walking down to their school and seeing them all there smiling without me!

I like my high school, but I'm wondering now how things would be better or worse if I went to the school I've always wanted to go to.

Song stuck in my head today: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Take That!

So, listening to myself about trying new things and doing what I want no matter what: I'm running for freshman class president.

Yikes!!

I'm always telling myself that I should get involved, so here's my chance! I wanted to run for something because I missed out on the opportunity in elementary school, and now that I can again, I decided, what the heck I might as well. I decided on president because: 1.) Everyone was chickening out of it therefore... 2.) Too many people were running for VP 3.) Treasurer seemed super boring and 4.) I liked president better than secretary.

I'll keep you posted on how things go, I only have two other opponents, and things seem like they can go either way. You never know! Another thing I might give a go is, drama. My high school's drama club is starting soon and I went to the meeting with a bunch of my friends the other day. I was in my school musical last year, and I've always loved the theater but now I'm unsure if I want to try out. The high school does a play and a musical, and I'm not sure if I'm cut out for acting yet. I don't have much experience and I also have a soccer game the day of auditions! I'm totally clueless on what to do, my friends keep saying to tryout no matter what, but I'm not sure if I even do make it, how I'll be able to balance it with sports, homework, and all my other activities!

Oh gosh...

Song stuck in my head today: "Tell Me Why" by Taylor Swift

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Summer & Seventh

So, yesterday I had a soccer game. It's been going really well! Our team is 3-1 (we've one three games and lost one). Yesterday, we were playing a team at at there middle school. You see, their middle and high school share the same field since they have an ultra nice turf field and a lot of other smaller fields that teams can use. So while our game was going on, there was also a JV boys soccer game taking place, 7th grade boys football practice, and 7th grade girls soccer practice. During our pre-game warm-ups we got to see these girls in action, and I realized how far I've come! I was the girl who was constantly apoligizing for her bad passes and volleys, and had no clue what she was doing, but was learning a heck of a lot along the way! I wasn't just watching these girls noticing their soccer skills though, I was thinking about how small they were! Too me, 7th grade does not seem far away at all, but two years can be a long time. I thought of what I felt like, what I was going through into 7th grade, and pictured these girls probably experiencing the same things. Everyone treats "sevies" like they a world away, and I never thought they were, until now. I really have changed, and it's sorta freaking me out!

Taking soccer pictures are the best. You really get some cool stuff!

On the bus ride to the game and back I was thinking of nothing else but summer. The town we played in is a real hotspot for surfers and it's basically just a beach town! So driving past all the great ice cream places, surf shops and beaches that are packed in the summer but are now covered with this eerie Septemeber fog, really made me upset. I miss summer! Don't get me wrong, fall is my FAVORITE season. But I hate Septemeber. It's such an awkward transition. One day it's 65 degrees out and everyones searching for their new pair of jeggings, and then it's a hot and sunny 85 and people are regretting covering up their pool! Why does September have to tease us? Summer's not coming back, we still have to wait a whole 'nother year.

Song stuck in my head today: "Til I Forget About You" by Big Time Rush

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Tryouts: Day #5 (we can skip 4!)

"How do YOU think you did?"
It's like a staredown. My whole face is shaking, as I'm trying to make the awkward eye contact with the Varsity soccer coach. I don't know what to do, so I just sit there hoping they don't notice the twitching in my eye, why am I shaking?!
"I think I did good, I'm just proud of myself in the end. I'm glad knowing I tried."
A smile comes across my face to show I am genuinely proud of myself. I didn't just say that because we basically rehearsed it yesterday. A smile spreads across her face too,
"That's great! It really shows your confidence. You should be proud."
More smiling. Should I be smiling?? I'm still not informed here: did I make it or what?! Just tell me!
"Thank you."
"We're going to keep you on JV."
Whoosh! I'm still shaking, but now it's because I'm fighting the urge to get up and dance. Thank God! This week really was worth it after all.

I won't bother telling you the rest. I didn't want to hear it, I wanted to leave and tell my friends! So you don't want to hear them ramble on about my grest work ethic and lack of technical skills either. Point is:

I made it.

Armed with a frozen bottle of Gatorade and plenty of ice and band-aids, I made it.


JV, that is.

It feels so good! It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Hell week is over, and we can go on living life! I'm so happy I made it and I really hope this season is good. Even though I know the coach (from what I heard) isn't the best, I really hope I improve. Already though, I can see the thoughts being processed by everyone. Varsity. There it goes again! It's like someones playing it on a constant loop inside your head. I can tell people want to move on to the next thing, and that's a year away! I think sometimes we really need to take things day by day, so don't worry if you make it next year. Worry about this year.

This is what I felt like for that spilt second. Just relief, y'know?

So yeah! Haha, I made it. That's basically it. ☺

Song stuck in my head today: ...

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Tryouts: Day #3

With the heat, and my lack of skills it's hard to say if I'll make it or not. I have no idea at all.

And that word keeps ringing in my ear.


Varsity, Varsity, Varsity, Varsity, Varsity!

I know I will not make Varsity. I just know. I'd be very happy if I made JV but it makes me wonder why they even have two teams. Why?! Is there even a point of being on JV? The girls I'm trying out with (the older ones) say they don't do anything on JV, the practices are a lotttt easier than the hell week we're going through now. But I ask you- what's the point?! Do the coaches feel like sticking us on a team saying, "Here you don't have enough heart, soul, and physical strength to be REALLY good but we'll still give you a shot."?

But, it's better than nothing.

Anything is better than nothing. Trying out is and not making it is better than sitting on your couch eating Pop Tarts watching the Today show for four hours every morning instead of spending that time pushing yourself. Making JV and being able to say that you got that far is better than spending your first school semester wishing you tried.

I should know if I make a team by tomorrow or Friday.... so obviously I'll keep you posted!! Good luck in your endeavours!

Song stuck in my head today: Nada. I've been without a song a lot lately... :(

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Tryouts: Day #2

It was 105 degrees out.

Enough said. Me showing up, was my way of trying!

Song stuck in my head today: None!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Tryouts: Day #1

So, I thought I'd blog about everday of tryouts to prove that I'm attempting to take my own medicine! (Yay!) In my other post, I talked about things I'd try and would do. Let's see if I did them...

✓ Did I try to wake up with a smile on my face?

✓ Did I try to not puke on the car ride there? (Much simpler on the way there than the way back)

✓ Did I try to focus on nothing but how I play? (So-so)

✓ Did I try to get my mile under eight minutes, because that's my goal? (See post below☺)

✓ Did I try to keep the ball glued to my size 10 feet? (I tried, wheter it worked all of the time is another story)

✓ Did I try not to cry? (Yes, except for the sprints at the end because I was gonna die of cramps!)

✓ Was I happy and proud of myself when the day was over?

So far so good! I felt like I tried, without pushing my self too hard and I'm so happy I got my mile in at 7:32!! :)

Song stuck in my head today: "Animal" by Neon Trees

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

The hardest thing is trying

Tryouts are tomorrow.

I'm really nervous. I try (ha) not to think about it. But it keeps filling up my head when I'm sitting around mindlessly.

But, this is the (school) year of trying. For me at least. I've told you how I don't try. So much that I'll start rambling on about it and people will stop me and say "I know. I read it on your blog.".

So, tomorrow at eight a.m. I will try to wake up with a smile on my face, try not to puke on the car ride there, sitting next to my friends who have been playing years longer than me. I will try to focus on nothing but how I play. I will try to get my mile under eight minutes, because that's my goal. I will try to keep the ball glued to my size 10 feet and I will try not to cry, because that's something I way to prone to.

I will be happy and proud of myself when the week is over, no matter what. Because my aunt said sometimes the hardest thing is stepping onto that field alone. After that, I won't care which team I make. If I make JV I will work hard. If I make JV I will have fun. If I don't I will keep playing and work hard on other things like dance, school, and music.

But I won't chicken out.

So for those of you trying out for sports (or anything!) in this upcoming season, go for it. Do your best but don't push yourself TOO hard. Focus on how you're doing and not what others think of you. Hopefully, I can do the same! Remember that gets second chance at things and be proud of yourself in the end, no matter the result. And trying is the hardest thing, after that enjoy the ride.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well

Okay, you probably think I'm a.) A reallyyy suckish soccer player or b.) a drama queen. I just had to get it out 'cause I'm really nervous alright?! I just don't want to be the worst one there and I really feel like I will. I'm not horrible but all the other girls are so good! It's hard for me to push myself with this especially because I'm not as serious about it as others are. I just think it's fun, so if I make it I make it, if I don't I don't. But either way: I'm nervous.

Song stuck in my head today: "Silver Lining" by Rilo Kiley

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Back to Basics: A Flower List Update

Have you been watching The World Cup?

16% said Yes! I love it!
66% said A little bit
16% said No, I listen to the news recaps...
16% said What's that?
50% said No way!
33% said Hahaha no.
16% said No, I want to though.
and...
16% said I play soccer, but I don't follow it... wierd I know

As you might know, I play soccer myself. But I have to relate with the last poll choice. Soccer is super fun for me but I definitely am not as in love with it as much as some of my MLS crazed friends. This World Cup though, I've been trying my best to keep up to date with the games. I've watched a good part of a couple games and listened to the sports recaps during the morning news. My friends and relatives have surely tried to get me more hooked.

Watching a major league soccer game is thrilling. I'm constantly awed with the athletic skills these players have. A lot of people find it boring, and say that the whole game is just passes back and forth, and back and forth; but that makes the rarity of an amazing goal even better! It shows how talented these athletes are. Those of you who watch the games (especially year round, not just when the whole world feels obligated): KUDOS! For my readers who've been trying to keep up, much like myself: hopefully we'll get there one day and will be watching the games all in the know. For the one voter out there who didn't know what The World Cup even was: you have some homework! And, I hope those of you who don't watch it at all will soon gain a liking for the most popular and viewed game in the world, but if not keep enjoying and pursuing your own pastimes and passions!

Today- I hope you are all very proud! -I watched all 122 minutes of The World Cup final game!!! And after nearly a dozen cards, and free kicks later, CONGRATULATIONS SPAIN! It was so much fun to watch with my friends and I hope you all got to see some of it (:



Sorry for all the messed up postings! I'm getting back in the groove of blogging, so after I add a couple delayed posts from my vacation things will be back to normal!

Song stuck in my head today: "Life Is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Becoming A Health Junkie? And Love, Legal?

I think this whole track thing has dramatically effected me already! Is that possible? Today I was at soccer practice, and my Dad was late picking me up. I had a track and two feet so I wanted to run! I asked my coach if I could do some laps because I needed to keep running for track and he gave me this weird face and said, "If you want. Just don't run off, I'm supposed to be watching you until your dad comes." So I did half a mile while waiting for my Dad! I seriously feel like one of those exercise junkies, all I want to do is run and see how long I can go for! But, this has had a good impact on The Flower List 'cause I'm starting to work towards my next goal (I'd give you the number but, I'm currently at a friend's house, listless!), which is to be able to do a split.
Now, I'm a dancer. And you'd think I'd be able to do a split, but flexibility is a very touchy subject with me. I'm like a foot off the ground when I try to do a spilt, and I haven't been able to decrease that dreadful distance. I used to be better, being able to do a heel-stretch somewhat well, but my dancing school stopped helping me with that, and now that I've moved studios and only taking one class - the one were I won't learn anything, tap - I'm all on my own.

So, yesterday with my new found determined spirit I did a mini 30 minute workout, stretching non-stop. Hopefully, like attempts in the past, I won't give up. So write some supportive comments if you'd like! And tell me if you're working towards any athletic goals.

As for my topic of the day, yesterday I was with a friend and I saw a collage she did. In the collage there was a model wearing an American Apparel T-shirt saying, Legalize L.A. I'm not sure what the T-shirts supported, it had something to do with immigration rights (I think! Don't take my word, it's later at night and I'm too lazy to Google :) ) and I started thinking of their other T-shirts, supporting the legalization of gay marriage in the U.S., and how ridiculous it is that we even need those T-shirts.

When you think about it, the government is telling us (certain people) that it is illegal to love. Now, I myself am not gay, but if I was in love with another girl, and we weren't allowed to make that love official, as most people find matrimony does I would be torn apart. I don't understand why people get so heated over this subject, other's marriage does not affect your life. So what if two men are professing their love for another? Is something horrible going to happen to you? It's life. Move on. Being intolerant will get you no where. Sit down and think about it, love being illegal is preposterous.

Once again, feel free to comment. Thanks for the follower, poll votes, and profile views sooner then I thought!

Song stuck in my head today: "The Remedy" by Jason Mraz (♥)

'Night!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison