Doesn't help you're freezing in your bed your blankets aren't enough

All you want is some one there, all you say is so

Love, Love, Kiss, Kiss, blah blah blah.

You're making me sick, I wish you'd just stop showing off

For the rest of us that no one wants to love

It's hard enough trying to drink another

Winter all alone

Love, Love, Kiss, Kiss, blah blah blah.

- Alkaline Trio "Love Love Kiss Kiss"

My new favorite type of people are the people that call winter their favorite season.

Lately, it hasn't been mine.

I try to go for a run yesterday, it stunk. The roads weren't paved, I jumped through mounds upon mounds of snow, and my throat was on fire. Colds are just a weekly occurrence in the winter. I've never hated the winter before, and I do not hate it now either, but I've never not liked it so much. It's making me feel bad.

I think winter tests you. Especially if you're alone. It gives you this harsh weather and says: will you stay in or out? If you stay in will it be to be lazy? Will you use me as an excuse to watch TV all day? Or to procrastinate? Or will you sit at home with your resources and be inspired? Will you learn about new countries, faraway ideas? Will you try to help people? Will you sit and think for a while and act on your mind? Think about it. With all the off time we have here and then in the winter, we could be sitting behind our computers not tweeting, or playing FarmVille but organizing charities, or doing something!

Or just go outside.





I go outside when I can't handle things. I go outside when everything inside is just to much. I go outside at every chance I get.


But not lately.


So maybe that's why this winter has seemed hard.


Today I visited my old middle school (old? oh gosh). I walked home the way I used to walk home every day last year. And I missed it. I missed the walk. I've walked everywhere else in this freaking town but I missed that walk. I missed it because it seemed routine. It was natural. I loved every second of it today. I had it great back then, being able to/from school every day. Doesn't everybody just need a walk once in a while? I swear, I was having such a bad day but visiting my old school and taking the walk home was one of the best things that happened to me today.


So next time you're in the dumps, please just talk a walk for me. Force yourself to. Wheter it be 105 degrees out or below zero. Sometimes we have to make ourselves do things.




Saw this picture when I searched for walk, I died. Hope you like it.(:


Song stuck in my head today: Link m'dears at the top...


Keep on keepin' on,


Madison

Back to Basics: A Flower List Update

Do you like where you live?

20% said GET ME OUT OF HERE.

10% said Yep, it's a nice place!

70% said Eh, it's a love hate relationship

0% said I'm never in one spot for long!

0% said It's ok (:

and...

0% said I love it!!

I have to deal with it everyday. Wheter it be browsing my Facebook newsfeed, or sitting in geometry:

"I hate this town!" "I can't wait until I leave." "When's graduation?" "Yeah, this town…definitely not my favorite place." "There's nothing to do here!" "Get me out of here!"

I'm not perfect. I hate this town too when I get into one of those crappy moods. But that's it: you can't let it get to you. I know you're wired right now with all this weird and for no good reason teenage angst and you can only see beyond the confines of your dramatic high school life, but please try to keep a hold of your emotions. I'm tired of hearing all these remarks about our town. I try to be optimistic in this life of mine. Look around you people, you live in a great place!!!! Believe it or not you're in one of the richest areas in the nation. My dad tells me allll the time, not to forget how crazy it is where we live. Go down south to Georgia or whatever you can buy a house twice the size of ours with half the price. Why maybe? It could be because we have an excellent school district, and a great location. So suck it up! I think living in an area where some of the surrounding towns were in the top ten Forbes list of most affluent areas is pretty damn good.

You still want to hear my rant against my town? Okay here it goes,

I hate the people here. I hate walking around the halls in school with this need to be perfect lingering above everyones heads. You created this aura Miss. Hunter boots, and yet you sit here day after day crying about your life. Your life draped in Tiffany jewelry and spring break trips to Europe. I have some advice for you then if you want to change. Stop pressuring yourself and everyone to be perfect, stop hooking up with guys that treat you like crap and are just thinking about your best friend while they're trying to get some with you. Stop being mean and judgemental towards people and maybe you'll get some true friends with less drama involved. Stop thinking your life revolves around Cheer, or that you're some Olympian because you can successful do a couple back hand springs or whatever. Stop posting pictures of yourself on Facebook drunk, don't talk about how your best friend lost her virginity to the same guy as you did and now she's copying you. What kind of freaking reputation do you think that's setting up for you? Stop hating this town. Because this town gives you everything wheter you realize it or not.

"We've got it good

Whether you like this town or not

I know it's small but with a big head

it's bound to get hot

In the summer

But the summer is a bummer

If you can't leave

This pathetic excuse for a town

That holds all your memories

A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams..."

- Never Shout Never "Big City Dreams"

I love my town. I look for places in my town that are quirky and cool and you can escape from the town in there. They're there. Trust me, or my Schwinn. This town has given me great opportunities. This town has given me friends and memories that will last a life time. This town will always be waiting here back for me, unchanged I know it. Because it was the same old stereotyped town my Dad grew up in. It's here when I come back every weekend from my other home out east. It will be waiting here for me when my plane from London lands in at JFK, sometime soon I hope! It will be here when I show my kids where I grew up. Maybe where I met their dad, or maybe where they'll be living. Who knows.

My father said "Son, we're lucky in this town,

It's a beautiful place to be born.

It just wraps its arms around you,

Nobody crowds you and nobody goes it alone"

"Your flag flyin' over the courthouse

Means certain things are set in stone.

Who we are, what we'll do and what we won't"

- Bruce Springsteen, "Long Walk Home"

Song stuck in my head today: two links for you inn this post already set up and ready to go! go find 'em :)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

It'll Always Be YOU

I'm always dying to write about you but I won't let myself do that.

Song stuck in my head today: "The Ocean" by Led Zeppelin

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Nice to meet you!

Lately I've been thinking that I should share some more 'Madison Facts' with you. I mean, if you read all my posts you're bound to know a lot of stuff about me but what about little facts? Most of you reading this now are my friends, but some people who read my blog don't know me at all or just see it on my Facebook. And maybe this is your first time to my blog! It's always good for a refresher. So... I found this on my friends blog and decided to do it. You bold the ones that apply to you. Sorry it's so long! It was fun to do though so I hope you like getting to know me. :)

I am a morning person.

I am a perfectionist.

I am an only child.

I am Catholic.

I am currently in my PJs.

I am currently pregnant. (really wanted to bold this one for all my crazy friends!)

I am left handed.

I am married.

I am addicted to MySpace.

I’m shy around the opposite sex.

I bite my nails.

I currently regret something I have done.

I don’t like anyone.

I enjoy rock music.

I enjoy RNB and pop.

I enjoy jazz music.

I have a car.

I have a cell phone.

I have a pet.

I have at least one brother or sister.

I have been to another country.

I have been told that I’m smart.

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humour.

I have had a broken bone.

I have caller ID on my phone.

I have changed a lot over the past year.

I have had surgery.

I have killed another person.

I have had my hair cut within the last week.

I have had the cops called on me.

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.

I have kissed someone of the same gender.

I have mood swings.

I have rejected someone before.

I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I have watched Sex and the City.

I like Shakespeare.

I love to cook.

I love Michael Jackson.

I love sleeping.

I love to shop.

I miss someone right now.

I own over 100 CDs.

I own over 100 DVDs.

I own and use a library card.

I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.

I read books for pleasure in my spare time.

I sleep a lot during the day.

I think Britney Spears is pretty.

I will try ALMOST anything once.

I work at a job that I enjoy.

I would classify myself as ghetto.

I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.

I am currently wearing socks.

I am tired.

am currently waiting for someone.

I lost contact with someone.

I hate Miley Cyrus.

I think Party In The USA is catchy.

I’d date Harry Potter.

I can name all the past presidents of the United States.

I know who was president before George Bush.

I love pickles.

I need the internet to live.

I prefer vanilla over chocolate.

I watched Star Trek.

I watched all six movies of Star Wars.

I own an Xbox.

I think music is life.

I prefer bands than singers.

Music (BOLD THE ONES YOU LIKE)

Acceptance. Coldplay. Dave Matthews Band. David Bowie. Foo Fighters. Hellogoodbye. The Killers. James Blunt. Teddy Geiger. Linkin Park. Ok Go. Panic At The Disco. Peter Bjorn. The Postal Service. Timbaland. Jack Johnson. Norah Jones. Drake. The Fray. The Wreckers. Beyonce. Metallica. Massive Attack. Queen. Journey. The Cars. Supertramp. Eurythmics. Sublime. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wu-tang Clan. Fergie. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Kenny Chesney. Carrie Underwood. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Neil Young. The Beatles. Brad Paisley. Tim McGraw. Taylor Swift. P. Diddy. Jay Z. Lil’ Wayne. Lil’ Jon. Three 6 Mafia. Nelly. Young Joc. T.I. Sean Paul. 50 Cent. Eminem. Eiffel 65. Ace of Base. The Underdog Project. Dream Theater. Santana. Alicia Keys. Incubus. Victor Wooten. Ludacris. Gorillaz. Matchbox 20. Paramore. Say Anything. Adam Lambert. Taking Back Sunday. Eric Clapton. The Darkness. Weezer. The Eagles. Jimi Hendrix. Maroon 5. Billy Joel. Reel Big Fish. Anberlin. Green Day. Mae. Family Force 5. AC/DC. Electric Six. Outkast. Simple Plan. The White Stripes. Prince. Mika. Crystal Castles. Tokio Hotel. Britney Spears. Spice Girls. The Gossip. Lady GaGa. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Forever The Sickest Kids. Third Eye Blind. Metro Station. Motion City Soundtrack. The Rocket Summer. Tenacious D. Something Corporate. The Moldy Peaches. Mandy Moore. Plain White T’s. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. My Chemical Romance. Fall Out Boy. We the Kings. The Rolling Stones. Angels & Airwaves. The Beastie Boys. Black Eyed Peas. Boys Like Girls. Jonas Brothers. Demi Lovato. Selena Gomez. The Cure. Cobra Starship. Death Cab for Cutie. Deftones. Team Sleep. Filter. Honor Society. Katy Perry. Muse.

Well, there ya go! I shortened it a bit (there was a movies and TV section) but I thought it was too long, and those sections were just if you've seen it not if you actually like it.

Song stuck in my head today: "Good People" by Jack Johnson

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Hate To Break It To Ya...

How often are you honest with people? I feel like I need to sit some of my friends and have some 'heart-to-hearts' with them. For multiple reasons...


1. You know how you vow never to turn into a certain type of person? What if you do, or your friend does. It seems like at a certain point in our lives we turn into the people we say we won't. Well it's not a big deal to me I guess, it's just very annoying. I'll let you live your life, sort through some things, you're not doing anything harmful! Just getting on people's nerves with your fake 'creativeness' and back stabbing.



2. If you heard people saying something about your friend do you have to tell them? What if you knew how they'd react to it? They'd a.) brush it off, people don't really effect them b.) get concerned you thought something about them, that's why you're bringing it up. I'm stuck between telling a friend something, what they're doing really doesn't bother me but some people think it's weird so I don't want them to get hurt. I'm so confused! What would you do? Would you want to know if someone said something about you? For me it depends what they're saying I guess.


Okay, thanks for letting me express these feelings lame blog post you might say but I needed to get this out. Ugh life is so frustrating!

Shout out to Alana Epstein (click meee!) for this er, collaboration blog post? Haha! (1. is Holga BTW Alana ☺)

Song stuck in my head today: "Rollerblades" by Eliza Doolittle


Keep on keepin' on,


Madison

HELLO

Okay, so much to say so much to say so much to say! I have all these crazy thoughts spinning around in my head and I can't wait to get them down onto TFL because then I can make room for new ones! (Yes I just abbreviated my own blog, no I don't care!)

First off, there's been a lot of changes with the physical appearance of the blog lately, if you haven't noticed! But one I'd like to just point out for a sec is to your right ----> if you have a Facebook, which I'm sure you do. Click like! That way if you don't have a blogger and aren't friends with me you can still be up to date on the latest TFL (here I go again!) posts without constantly checking back here (I know you doooo) or without me constantly making it my status. Sound like a plan superman?

Hmm.. what else.

Oh yeah! Now that track's ended I'm already booked up for the off season with my school's drama program. I made it into the play! This year we're doing Once Upon a Mattress and even though things have been slow so far with it (only one rehearsal in two weeks...?) and I really miss track a break from late nights is always nice and I'm sure drama will get better!

So between Pretty Little Liars which is on RIGHT now and trying to get everything else sorted out for school tomorrow I have to go but plentyyy of posts to come this week. :) Arrivederci!

Song stuck in my head today: "Make It Mine" by Jason Mraz ♥

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

&Waking Up Is The Hardest Part

I don't get why we dream at night. It makes no sense. It's so surreal. Our heads hit the sack and then we're transported into this universe for the night.


Normally my dreams are very very weird. They make no sense what so ever, and half the time they have no one I know personally in them. Some examples: my infamous Zac Efron dream (I like sharing these with people). One night I dreamed that Zac Efron was a fish and he knitted me a sweater. Then he invited me to his HSM concert where he turned into a old black man. Another reoccurring one is one where I'm playing tag with pirates in my local Stop and Shop... Do you see?!


I don't get what - or even if - there's a purpose to dreams. Do they foreshadow events? Are they showing us what we should be doing? Are they just teasing our desires? Or are they just plain nonsense?

I can't stop thinking about my dreams lately. You've been in all of them this past week. Last night in my dream you gave me a huge hug and told me you loved me and I swear it seemed so real, it's haunting me I can't stop thinking about it. You know those feelings you get when you wake up and you swear what happened in your dream happened in real life? That was my dream last night, and the day before that, and the day before that. I hate them. I hate them hate them hate them.


But then, you don't want the dream to stop. I want you in my dreams every night, but I don't want to wake up with that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hate not knowing if the world is trying to tell me something, or if it's just mocking me because I'll never let go of the thought of us.

Sleep tight.

Song stuck in my head today: "Dreaming With A Broken Heart" by John Mayer (this is one of my favorite dance routines choreographed by the Goddess, Mia Michaels)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

I'm sitting in science today and I turn to stick out my tongue to my friend sitting beside me. The girl in front of him turns around and looks at me.

I try to imagine what she's thinking in her head. I think she's probably realizing that my friend and I haven't changed in the three years. I used to be friends, we both used to be friends with this girl but things went wrong and suddenly I was the cause of her losing some good relationships because I couldn't leave my angry trap shut. I had my reasons, but I took advantage of them. So as she turns her head while I tease my friends I assume she's thinking "They're still the same silly friends I left in 6th grade", but she just asks me what the design was on my shirt. They were flowers, or something like that.

It was weird. For a moment there I felt like I could be standing in the doorway of room 308 in my size 8 Converse. The ones I was so proud of in 6th grade, the ones I didn't get a speck of dirt on for a week until I made the realization the grungier they looked the better. I saw myself, 15 year old me sitting in a classroom learning about neurons and trying to think of something better to do. Me, goofing around with my friend and reminiscing on my times with my old friend.

I wondered what 6th grade me would think of 9th grade me. What size 8 black Converse would think of size 10 Kate Spade red rain boots. I could give you a guess. She'd be wondering how awkward it was sitting next to my old friend in class, she'd be so excited I was sitting next to the boy I had the biggest crush on, and she'd be wondering what high school is like. I can answer that for her, or me rather.

Dear 12 year old Madison (oh look there you are^),

It is sort of weird sitting next to her in class. I mean there's time I want to stop between cell labeling worksheets and apologize for how things ended up, and how she's been, how we've all been. Things like that. But otherwise she's changed, she has her own friends now, she keeps to herself. She seems fine and I don't think she holds a grudge against me, us? As for the guy that's sitting next to me. Familiar I hope. Don't get too excited there chicky. I wish I could've let you - me - known before hand that disappointing outcome. Anyways, high school? I have to give you credit kid. You had the right idea after all. I don't want you to start thinking pessimistically, but you were right, the school sucks. I mean don't get me wrong! We love certain parts of it, winter track, meeting new people. But you were correct about the overall atmosphere being better 'up north'. Don't worry though, we still have time to turn things around. I need you though. I need you to open my eyes back up. To show me who I am again, because things have grown a little fuzzy and you - I - had everything really sorted out back then.

From,

You

Song stuck in my head today: "Your Song" cover by Ellie Goulding (Thanks All The Time In The World!)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Back to Basics: A Flower List Update

How are you today?

16% said A piece of crap.

16% said Fine, thank you.

16% said Okay. :)

16% said What kind of poll is this?

0% said AMAZING!

and...

33% said Good!!

How are you? What's up? What's the matter? What's wrong? Are you okay?

How many times in your life have you answered completely truthfully to those type of questions? How many times have your answers been more than one word, or more than "good", "nothing", "fine".

How many times has someone asked you this and you've wanted to just tell them how good or bad you are but you stay shutup.

Or.... how many times have you logged into Facebook seen "What's on your mind?" and thought, You really don't want to know.

Maybe spill the beans next time? See what happens. I'm tired of hearing "I'm good, yeah everything's cool uhuh uhuh....

Why can't we just be honest with each other?!

Song stuck in my head today: "Paranoid" by Jonas Brothers (Oh God, Brianna you must be loving this..)

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Track ♥

Thank you, for blessing me with this team.

I love every second.

I know I'm just a "little freshman" but WTF has been the best high school experience yet. Most days, it was my only reason for coming to school! I love all the new friends I've made in track, and I'm counting down the days until spring track starts. Thanks for a great season, I hope to continue this all throughout high school it has been some of the most fun I've had while been on any team! I love you guys. ♥

Song stuck in my head today: nothing worth hearing

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Song stuck in my head today: "Fifteen" by Taylor Swift

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Gosh, once again I've never felt so lost in my life! I'm okay with it but sometimes it just gets on my nerves because everyone wants something from me!

I used to have a really close knit group of friends. And now I'm torn between who to spend my rare free Friday nights with. Once again, not trying to sound dramatic or helpless or whatever, it's not like I don't have friends or they all hate each other or something it's just I have so many friends in so many different "groups".

It's not like there's big or really strict cliques or something like they portray on TV between me and my friends it's just in high school we all met new people and sort of went our own ways. It's really wierd. Of course me and my friends are still super close, it's just there's this certain type of closeness missing. The I'm with you EVERY weekend, we always hang out at least once every other week, your parents still remember me kind of closeness. Between track, school, and everything else life has been throwing at me I haven't been able to make time for my friends as much as I'd like I guess. For example, I got really close with this girl in my grade in middle school and a couple of her best friends. Now I'm not necessarily feeling replaced by one of my really good friends with them, but I think he's grown so much closer with them in a shorter amount of time just because they're always free and I'm never around it seems! It just bothers me a bit. Because now they don't bother to ask me what I'm doing this weekend, because we know the plans will just be changed due to last minute babysitting my sister or an all day track meet. It's always a "we HAVE to hang out" at school, but that's it. I'll start walking in the hall with this group of friends or any of my other friends and a good 40% of the time I don't know what they're talking about. It's always an inside joke or something that happened while I'm out running, watching Yo Gabba Gabba with a one year old, or cramming for a Global test between trips Out East. I don't know how other people that seem a lot more busier than I am manage to keep their social life and everything else under control.

Here are some pictures that came up when I searched for cliques, groups, what not. Enjoy photography wheter it works with this post or not.

Is there a manual for this? Please send one to me. Thank you.

Song stuck in my head today: I honestly don't know.

Keep on keepin' on.

Madison

A letter.

Hello,

I just wanted to let you know in the nicest way possible. I may be almost 15 and you don't have to help me tie my shoes anymore but I still need you. I still need you when I get all moody and "Ohmygod life is great I'm too lucky, give me a hug right now dammmit!". I still seek your approval with everything I do, and wheter or not you like it I still hope to make you happy. I still need a "Good Job!" or "That's my girl!" every now and then. And sometimes with our hectic schedules it's good to just take all the stress away for a moment and let me talk to you, no matter how pointless the stuff I have to say is. That it's okay for you to come into my room, to talk or just whatever. It's not off limits or anything, just please don't nag me to clean it up! Know that I love you, it's just hard for me to tell you that or to listen to you sometimes, and know that I try, I honestly do. And right now I'm sound all sappy like all of us are horrible people or something. We're not, I just think about this sometimes. I still would like a big bear hug after PRing in a meet, or making whatever. I need to know you back me up on what I do. Just a refresher, because sometimes I forget that all your hard work IS to keep me going, to keep me here and to support all of us. I love you!

Hope this didn't sound too mushy or messed up,

Maddie

Song stuck in my head today: 1, 2, 3 WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING FOR? ♥

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Teenager.

When you think of teenager what do you think of?

Once again, going back to my whole 'Peter Pan' state, the thought of 13 was the most daunting of all ages I had to overcome I'd say. I mean tell me you weren't anxious turning 13?! Maybe that's just me. (And if anyone out there's not yet 13, good luck my friend enjoy it!) I was so scared of turning into a typical teenager though. It was my biggest anxiety. I can't really tell you what my 'typical teenager' would be though. I bet I've broken a few rules I had set for my self when I was 12. I guess my definition of a typical teenager back then would be someone who was rude and moody and thought they were the coolest stuff around, someone would ditch people for their friends on a moments notice and had no real values or whatever.

When I was younger I always noticed that every teen lived for summer. I guess it's just a thing that happens.

Don't know if I've mentioned this before but Fall's my favorite season. Don't get me wrong there's great things about every time of the year but I've just always had this deep love for Fall. Anyways, I've never really absolutely LOVED summer until last year. I don't know why, I could come up with some complex theories knowing me, but I just did. And I'm missing it. I'll admit it. A lot.

I miss being able to roll out of bed wheter it be six in the morning or one in the afternoon and just throw on a bathing suit, flip flops and be ready for the day. I miss staying up late, I miss my feet being tickled by the green grass, I miss swimming, I miss beach hair, I miss the sun enveloping my skin and I miss the clean slate summer gives me. I miss camp, I miss Bob Marley on loop in my backyard, I miss the smell of sunscreen and the fact that I live on a diet of hotdogs, hamburgers and chips and salsa from June to August.

I miss my friends.

Being with my camp (okay, VBS whatever!) friends over the summer is great. It's awesome just coming back year after year picking up where we left off the summer before, like nothing every happened. The jokes and memories we've made growing up compare to no other 'group' I've been a part of. I miss them!! I miss being able to wake up, stroll onto the lawn and talk about who's singing "Love Your Enemies" this year, what they did wrong this year, and how we could basically run this place we know so much.

I've made so many great friends there, people I would've never met or talked to even otherwise. Yes, that means you Kasey Crean! I miss you, and I know you miss me just as much (ha ok!). I can't wait until this summer, even if it is just for a few days!! Party at your house this year? Sounds good. Hope everything's good with soccer, I was supposed to keep coming just to practice but track is too much. It's already I bet you're just beating up Erin now!

Song stuck in my head today: sorry about the lack of these lately...!

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Back to Basics: A Flower List Update

What are your feelings about the New Year?

0% said It makes me sad.

25% said I love it!!

0% said Doesn't really matter

25% said I always get my hopes up too high for a good year

25% said I always break my resolutions

0% said It's too much fuss and commotion

and...

25% said It's fine :)

I used to HATE the New Year when I was little. It was the worst holiday for me. I cried when it came, I didn't want to leave 2005 or whatever year it was then. I remember sitting in my room or on the staircase in my house and for a couple minutes just crying and crying. I was in this major Peter Pan stage as I like to call it. Life frightened me, a lot. I would get anxiety thinking about the next school year, or my birthday. I did not want to think about growing up at all and death seemed to be always in mind. I don't know if I've ever told this to anyone. But I remember once at dinner I couldn't stop thinking about dying and I got so worked up and my mom had to bring me to the bathroom in the restaurant we were eating out and try to get the sense in my head back where it belonged, but I couldn't express my feelings to her. I was pretty messed up in 3rd grade! I kept all these journals from that year and into 4th grade and you just notice these crazy entries where I almost seemed depressed and a lot of it had to do with growing up.

Do I want to grow up now? Eh, I guess. I'm not as scared now obviously but sometimes I'll slip back into my old Saucony black and red sneakers for a while, and I'll start thinking about it. Non stop. I know to pull myself out of it now, but still it's weird though isn't it? Life? I mean we're all just going to die, does anything even matter?

Don't worry! I'm not getting all emo or whatever label you're putting on me right now, I'm just analyzing.

Song stuck in my head today: Dunnoooooo

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

This Is Life My Friends

Sometimes you just can't make people happy. You can't win everytime. It's annoying isn't it? Ugh, since my birthday's soon I'm going out for dinner with some friends but I can't take everyone! It's not my fault, but I'm not a Trump or something, so I had to cut down my guest list a bit. Some people are sort of annoyed already, and I didn't even get to talk to about them yet, ahhh I hate drama.

Song stuck in my head today: Did you read my other post?

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

So, there's this thing at my high school called "Site Base" basically one representative from each grade is picked and you attend monthly meetings where a different topic is discussed amongst teachers, staff, chair people, parents, and other various administrators. I was chosen as the freshman representative for this year and so far I've only attended two meetings but each meeting I have the same feeling. I feel sort of, I don't know, secretive or official in a way. Not just because I'm sitting at a table with my principals, teachers, and other adults that have power over me but it's like someone's allowing me to see into a world I've never seen before! It's very eye-opening sometimes.

Wow, that probably sounds extremely cheesy and geeky, but whatever continue reading.

Today we discussed budget. Budget, budget, budget. We talked about how 'in times like these' we must make do with what we can, and how we've been able to do that quite comfortably in the past years. We went over what we were hoping to purchase for our school and the district this year and hope we might be effected in years to come.

I never knew all that goes into this! I'll hear neighbors or parents of friends or even my own talk this and that about the budget every year, how not enough money is spent on this or we need to pull this out or how we have all this money and no one's using it!

Well here's my question to you world, (oh and Cuomo if you're listening)....

It seems no one knows. Honestly I don't understand economics, or whatever it's called. Where's the money? I don't understand what freezes mean, or what 0% budget is, or why the county is looking for money from the schools 'cause they can't get it from the state. Where's the cash? Where's a dollar bill, where's the actual tangible money?? It seems like it's all "in the bank" or written out into checks...

But apparently the Board of Education understands this concept that eludes me. And for that, I give them major credit. I don't know how I could deal with all those people who are demanding this and that from me when that's not of their power.

Hope you're having a good 2011 xx

Song stuck in my head today: er.. about that...

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison

Just a thought, am I wrong?

Reason #34 I'm happy I'm not a Mets fan: I would cringe calling my team's stadium Citi Field

I went to the Jets game this yesterday. It was my first ever NFL game. I've been to MLB and NBA games but never a NFL game. Being to another major sporting event though, made me realize just how bombarded with advertisements we are in America. The gate I entered into the stadium was called "Pepsi Gate" and my section was the "Verizon Section". Countless times during the game we were reminded to check out this brand of chips, or go visit this bank because remember! they're the ooofficial ____ of the Jets. And just in case you forget about that during the actual game, you can always look conveniently to your right or left to be yet again reminded of the sponsors of this stadium.

I thought about this in Iceland for a bit also. Their capital city seemed lightyears away from ours. Well, maybe not that much but still RVK is their major city right? Well comparing that to NYC is a joke. Everything's not on top of each other there either, sure of course there's is advertising why wouldn't there be?! There has to be. But the thing is with America, it's soo obnoxious. It's everywhere. Everywhere.

Song stuck in my head today: "Exodus" by Bob Marley & The Wailers

Keep on keepin' on,

Madison