I'm really nervous. I try (ha) not to think about it. But it keeps filling up my head when I'm sitting around mindlessly.
But, this is the (school) year of trying. For me at least. I've told you how I don't try. So much that I'll start rambling on about it and people will stop me and say "I know. I read it on your blog.".
So, tomorrow at eight a.m. I will try to wake up with a smile on my face, try not to puke on the car ride there, sitting next to my friends who have been playing years longer than me. I will try to focus on nothing but how I play. I will try to get my mile under eight minutes, because that's my goal. I will try to keep the ball glued to my size 10 feet and I will try not to cry, because that's something I way to prone to.
I will be happy and proud of myself when the week is over, no matter what. Because my aunt said sometimes the hardest thing is stepping onto that field alone. After that, I won't care which team I make. If I make JV I will work hard. If I make JV I will have fun. If I don't I will keep playing and work hard on other things like dance, school, and music.
But I won't chicken out.
So for those of you trying out for sports (or anything!) in this upcoming season, go for it. Do your best but don't push yourself TOO hard. Focus on how you're doing and not what others think of you. Hopefully, I can do the same! Remember that gets second chance at things and be proud of yourself in the end, no matter the result. And trying is the hardest thing, after that enjoy the ride.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well
Okay, you probably think I'm a.) A reallyyy suckish soccer player or b.) a drama queen. I just had to get it out 'cause I'm really nervous alright?! I just don't want to be the worst one there and I really feel like I will. I'm not horrible but all the other girls are so good! It's hard for me to push myself with this especially because I'm not as serious about it as others are. I just think it's fun, so if I make it I make it, if I don't I don't. But either way: I'm nervous.
Song stuck in my head today: "Silver Lining" by Rilo Kiley
Keep on keepin' on,
Madison
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